Disclaimer: This post was written last week; before I finally know the truth. I posted this up so that I know what had happened few days before the big truth are revealed to me. xx

Stumbled upon this awesome video in YouTube recently - After Us by Wong Fu Production.
Have you watched it yet?

I've watched it 2 weeks ago with my little sister and I shamelessly cried in front of her while watching this. Instead of saying "Please la sis, move on" - She just keep quite. BAHAHA I never cried like that in front of her. Maybe she know how everything is so painful for me at this point but really - I can't do nothing. 

As I've mentioned in the previous post, I've been doing a lots of pondering and soul's searching recently. However I know that I was almost at the end of the first stage which is "reminiscing & retracting" and now after months being in that stage - I am ready for the next stage which is "release". I've acknowledged that things are different now and its will never be the same again - even if I decided to stay; it won't be the same again. Whatever the end decision is, I will cross that bridge with it is time. Meantime, I am ready for the next stage - RELEASE.

Yesterday I was sharing and chatting with a friend; He asked me what had happened to me so I'd shared with him and at the same time he shared (or I forced him to TEHEE) what had happened to himself. His advices to me "Make a wise decision Fay. Take it slow and build your courages" and much more but these two makes a very big impact to my heart. Really XXX. Thank you so much. You have no ideas how much that advices meant to me. So after work, during singing along Christmas's song with my little brother - I've decided to do some renovations in my bedroom! 

Nothing much though; just moved the heavy bed, bookshelf and yeah adding here and remove that and this. And for the first time in these past 5 months - I slept well and woke up feeling so energized! Or probably I'm just tired. HAHA However there is one place I didn't yet have courage to change - my closet. Where all the things hidden so that I can't see it and brought myself to tears. Sigh. I will eventually clean that - one day. Definitely. At this point, I'm really happy for myself. From idiotic - suicidal mode to my current self took a lots of time and efforts but really - I'm much better and stronger and a little bit wiser. No final decisions yet but I'm heading there. 

One step at a time.

“How long will I be here? As long as you need to be,” - After Us, Wong Fu Production

Till then, Be Happy!


  1. Nice bookshelf. I used to have loads of books back home right before I move to another countries. Now have to start collecting back.

    1. Thank you!!
      HEHE I love my bookshelf as well. So in love with it until its almost full already and I don't know either to buy new bookshelf or stop buying books. BAHAHA


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