I've been doing a lots of pondering lately. Well. About everything but one in particular will be - FAMILY. Since I've been spending a lots of time with them lately; I feel extremely happy. Its gave me time to analysed everything and realized that my priority should be - THEM; MY FAMILY.
They are not perfect but I love them to the core just the way they are. Truly. I never wanted others than my own flesh and blood. At one time, I did shut myself down because of the never-ending troubles that they have caused me but now I understand. Mom and Dad; I now understand.
They might be not the best but they are all I have.
I don't think I will be able to create a family of my own knowing that my own family haven't been taken a good care of. I'm responsible daughter like that. I might disagree on few stuffs with them but they are always the FIRST that I thought of whenever I'm having a troubles in decisions making etc. If I do this or that - will I make my family happy? Are they going to be disappointed with me? ETC They are also my solid reason why I'm still staying in my current relationship at the moment. Its not because I can't leave - its because I love my family and I love his family like my own. I don't like disappointing them. At least when everything didn't work out at the end; I can proudly tell all of them that I did my best to fix everything but really - this kind of thing required two hands, not only mine. However I will cross that bridge when the time has come.
Meantime, I will stay strong and keep my family as my first priority. They are GOD's gifts to me; because no matter what happened - as I said, they are all I have in this world.
I will work hard for their happiness and at the same time finding my own.
I know God will lead the way as long as I have faith in Him.